Hye In’s story
Moon Hye In’s posture is perfect. Her hair is tightly pulled back, showing all of her face. She is only 23, but she looks much older. Hye In speaks directly and does not use eageo – the baby-like accent many South Korean women use to sound cute. She is serious and calm.
She sits upright in her chair and refuses coffee or snacks. Her stomach has been bothering her, because she has a university exam coming up.
Worrying about school is a familiar feeling for Hye In. In North Korea, she went to a specialized high school for exceptional students.
“That was the happiest moment of my life,” she says recalling when she received the acceptance letter from the special school. Hye In’s face lights up a bit, and she says, “It was the first time I accomplished a goal.”
Hye In devoted the first 18 years of her life to school. She spent so much time at the school, that her friends became like family.
“The relationships with our friends were stronger than with our parents. We trusted each other, and shared everything,” says Hye In.
Hye In joined a computer club where students used USB sticks to watch illegal movies and television from South Korea and China. Despite seeing the differences between North and South Korea, Hye In had no desire to defect. She was focused on school.
Pyongyang, North Korea. [Photo © Roman Harak, used with permission]
As Hye In excelled in her studies, her father became increasingly anxious. He decided to leave North Korea and defect to South Korea. Hye In was confused by her father’s decision.
As he prepared to leave she asked him, “Why do you want to be a betrayer?” He told Hye In that she was to join him in South Korea.
She was furious. “You can go, but I will stay here. I don’t want to be a betrayer,” she yelled at him.
Hye In was thriving in school, and had a large group of friends. She didn’t want to go to South Korea. Her father revealed a secret that would change the course of her life. He explained how in the early 1900’s Hye In’s grandmother owned property. She lent her land to poor farmers.
After Korea was liberated from Japan, the country had a census. Everyone living in a household was to be documented.
Hye In says, “The farmers wrote they were grandmother’s servants on the census, because my grandmother was the owner of the household. But this is very bad, because in North Korea the bourgeois class are not good people…because North Korea is a communist country.”
Having bourgeois ancestry automatically limited Hye In from advancing socially or vocationally, because of North Korea’s family caste system known as Songbun.
Hye In’s father had kept this a secret from her, because he didn’t want to discourage her from pursuing her dreams. But as she grew into an exceptional student, he became worried – knowing that his daughter would never truly advance in North Korean society because of their poor Songbun.
He decided to leave North Korea, and forge a path for his daughter in South Korea where she could excel.
After finding out the truth, Hye In became bitter towards North Korea.
“I didn’t want to leave”
“I felt like I lost my dream,” Hye In says. “My country – North Korea – they pushed me out. I didn’t want to leave. But ancestors affect generations upon generations. There was no place for me. I was doing really well – being a good student. I worshipped Kim’s family, and I never had any doubts or negative opinions about Kim’s family. I worshiped him. I praised him. I had no hatred for him. But they are the ones who forced me to leave.”
[Video © Ash Abraham. Art by Golbon Moltaji]
A North Korean guard helped her cross safely into China. Hye In laughs when she recalls waiting on the other side of the river for her broker.
“I was so stupid,” she says. “I asked the North Korean guard, ‘do you know when the broker is coming?’ It could have been very dangerous. I was crazy.”
The guard didn’t pay attention to Hye In, and she met with the broker who took her to a safe house. From the house she could see North Korea.
“I had weird feelings like wow, I left my country. I wondered if I would ever go back.”
After twenty gruelling days crossing southeast China, Hye In finally made it to Thailand and received asylum to South Korea.
“I didn’t have a great feeling when I received the acceptance paper to South Korea. It was just part of the process,” she says.
In Hanawon
Hye In was not challenged by the schooling at the Hanawon.
“I think the Hanwon provides women with a kind of a relaxing healing program, because they aren’t ready to learn new hard trainings or life skills,” she says.
In the Hanawon, Hye In met women from other provinces and cities in North Korea for the first time in her life.
“I was a little scared to have relationships with the other women in the Hanawon.” She distrusted women from other cities. She tried to complete her time in the Hanawon quietly.
“in north korea, we eat together
or we starve together.”
strained
School Relationships in South Korea
After leaving Hanawon, Hye In, reunited with her father in Seoul. He had arranged her travel from China and to South Korea and was waiting for her when she graduated from the Hanawon.
In South Korea, she attended an adult high school and retook basic courses to prepare her for the South Korean education system.
Hye In says that in North Korea teachers double as volunteer tutors, and only ask payment from students who can afford to pay. The teachers have a mentorship relationship with their students. It is common for teachers to have an open door policy with their students who may drop by at any time of the day when they have questions about school.
In South Korea, Hye In finds the relationship between teachers and students is more professional and less familiar. The nature of South Korea’s busy society doesn’t lend itself to spending a long time with one student. Although the teachers in South Korea are warm and encouraging, Hye In often feels like a number. She misses her school back in North Korea.Student relationships are also different in South Korea. In the North, Hye In’s friends were like family – they shared everything.
Recently, a South Korean classmate offered her an individual snack. She was surprised, because in her hometown all of the snacks were shared. “In North Korea, we eat together or we starve together,” she says.
Even with the challenges at school, Hye In found that education is what has kept her from falling back into what she describes as the ‘blank-mindedness.’ She started over and set new goals to go to learn English and attend university.
Now, Hye In attends one of the top universities in Seoul.