I met Halyna Petryshak when she helped me drag my suitcase to my new home in Ottawa in September. We are both newcomers from Ukraine. I moved into the apartment where she had been living since she arrived this spring. We lived together for about a month.
Two cousins, Yana Volynska and Veronika Druchek arrived to live with Petryshak and me at the beginning of October. Back then, the household consisted of one host, four Ukrainian women and a dog.
On Feb. 24, Russia began a full-scale invasion of Ukraine, and Ukrainians started fleeing the country. Some of them have landed in Ottawa. Petryshak, Volynska and Druchek are now grappling with how to build a new life for themselves here, and for how long.
As they do so, they face personal changes and challenges that shape their characters, make them reconsider their beliefs, and sometimes help them realize something new about who they are and what they’re capable of.
I moved out two weeks after Volynska and Druchek arrived. On Wednesday, I returned to the household where I once lived to talk to the three Ukrainian women who were now trying to build lives for themselves in this city.
We spoke in Ukrainian because it was more comfortable, but I’ve translated what they shared with me to English.
Challenges
The house is quieter now than it was in September, though no less busy. Since landing in the country, the women living there have each found their own flow.
All three study English online. Most weekdays from 8 a.m. to 4:30 p.m., Druchek works as an online English-Polish translator for a video game company.
After that, she does chores. Then she practices English and does homework for her university in Poland.
Volynska said in Ottawa she has had to find new ways to manage her time. She said she has to attend Ukrainian university lectures from 2 a.m. to 5 a.m. or even 6 a.m. at times before waking up for English courses at 9:30 a.m. She tries to find a job and prepare for the university exams at the same time.
When she is overwhelmed, Volynska said she reminds herself that she is in great condition and that, unlike her parents who are still in Ukraine, she doesn’t have to live with electricity blackouts 15 times a day.
“It’s not as bad as the war,” she said. “Everybody survives university exams.”
Druchek said she feels lucky she and her cousin found the new place to stay in Ottawa. The next challenge she faced was learning English.
But she said the logistical challenges were the least of her concerns as she worked to settle herself in Ottawa. It was the emotional work of finding a new home that she found exhausting.
Druchek’s cousin Volynska agreed with this. She said since leaving Ukraine she started cherishing her family more once she realized how it feels to be far from them.
Petryshak came to Canada after first fleeing to Poland and then Portugal.
She said back in Ukraine, she didn’t have an interest in anything except journalism. Now she is discovering a lot of new opportunities and interests, such as dog grooming and cinema.
Petryshak said she didn’t even have a city in Canada where she would want to move. She chose Ottawa mainly because she could find a host here.
“Honestly, I had such a blurry understanding of where I’m going and what it will bring,” she said.
One of the challenges she faces is deciding what path to take now that she’s arrived in Canada.
“You can keep doing what you did in Ukraine, or try something new. The challenge is to understand what the best is for you and your family,” Petryshak said.
Growth
The women agreed the war also gave them something.
Petryshak said after the war broke out she understood she wants to act with more bravery in life instead of waiting for the one special or convenient moment.
It may sound cynical and scary, but the war let me understand that we can do more than we think.
Halyna Petryshak
After fleeing Ukraine to Canada, Druchek said she started to feel a stronger connection to her family. When she lived in Poland, she didn’t feel like her family and friends were unreachable. Now, half the world away, she does. That’s why, now she talks to them practically every day.
Moving to Canada by herself is an accomplishment that made her realize she can overcome the fear of the unknown.
“I became stronger, I feel it inside. There is less fear,” she said.
Volynska doesn’t feel as optimistic about how the war has affected her.
She said she is more fearful about her future. But she also discusses a lot of different outcomes of their life in Ottawa with her cousin. One of the outcomes Druchek also sees is returning home.
“In case of anything, there is always plan ‘E’ ,” said Druchek. At this point she started laughing. “It’s the last one. You can fly back.”
A return to Ukraine?
For all three women, there’s the looming question of whether, and when, they will return home.
Volynska said she already knows she wants to go back to Ukraine, whenever that becomes possible. While she waits, she is trying to make the most of her life in Ottawa.
She talked about how forcedly leaving one’s home can make it hard to be objective about a new country. Instead, people can start automatically disliking it.
Volynska said she would like to enjoy her life in Ottawa more. She said she would like to be more grateful for what she has here.
Druchek wants to return home to Ukraine in the future as well. She sees prospects there. She believes that the experience living abroad will make Ukrainians change for the better, and that that could affect how the whole country operates.
Petryshak said she avoids thinking about how long she will be in Ottawa. She said after the war she realized building any farsighted plans was meaningless.
I trust myself and the universe and think that in any case in Canada, Ukraine, or any country in the world, I will be okay.
Halyna Petryshak
When I asked Petryshak about Christmas plans, she remarked that back in Ukraine she used to always celebrate with her parents. This year she will still see her parents virtually.
“Here, I will be celebrating with my new family,” she said.
She smiled while showing me the socks they bought to put Christmas presents in. The socks had the names of all the people and even the dog Lucie.
She said she’s happy to be where she is and views it as a wonderful new experience.
